Together for better or worse; Would-be-divorced couples often too broke to
Break up The Commercial Appeal By Don Wade February 12, 2009

If love won't keep them together, perhaps the economy will.
On paper, anyway.
"I had one case where the husband couldn't afford health insurance,"
said Memphis attorney Misty Becker, who practices family law and handles
divorce cases. "So they're going to stay married, but live in separate states."

This might be an example at the economic extreme, but increasingly, lawyers
in the area and around the country report that couples'
decisions on whether to stay together for better or worse often hinge on money.

"The No. 1 thing (in divorce) is relationship issues," said Chris Johnson of
the Ferrell Law Firm in Germantown. "But financial issues are always a
relationship issue."

Aldo Rawlinson, 30, and his wife of eight years have two young daughters.
They own a home in Hickory Hill. She filed for divorce.
Money, he says, wasn't the major problem , but it was an issue. So is their
adjustable rate mortgage.
"I'm probably going to lose the house," said Rawlinson, who works nights for
a waste management company. "It's rough. Sometimes, I made some bad
decisions and got into some (credit card) debt."

Marlene Moses, president-elect of the American Academy of Matrimonial
Lawyers, reports that a recent survey given to some 1,600 family law
attorneys indicated "by two to one, they thought there would be a decline in
divorce because of the economic downturn."

Anecdotally, lawyers say that economic troubles have the power to hasten
divorce or halt it.
"Because finances are causing strife, it leads people to go through and get
divorced. You see that more in the middle and upper classes," said Becker,
who partners with her husband, James, in the Becker Law Firm.
"And then other people can't afford to get divorced and stay together."
Others file for divorce, but stay together long enough to reduce the
expenses of splitting up.
"I've had people voluntarily stay in the same household, and they're living
in separate bedrooms or sleeping on the couch until they can get through the
process," Johnson said.

Sometimes, financial betrayal even trumps personal betrayal.
"I've had a woman say, 'I don't mind if my husband cheats,'" Becker said,
"'but he's spending all our money on her, and we can't afford it.'"

In Tennessee, mediation is required before a trial. More than 90 percent of
the time, Becker says, the parties settle out of court.
The cost of a divorce varies widely. An uncontested divorce without
children, says Johnson, might be handled for a flat fee of $500.
Contested divorces are typically taken on a retainer basis and clients are
billed by the hour. "You could spend $10,000 very early (in the process),
and that's just for one party," Johnson said.
Becker, however, says the effects of the economy are not going unnoticed
from the bench.

"Judges are now allowing people to get decreases in child support because
parents are losing jobs," she said.
If times were better, Rawlinson, the Hickory Hill man in the midst of a
divorce, figures he and his wife would sell their house and enter the next
phase of their lives in stable financial condition.
"But selling just doesn't seem like an option," he said. "I'm in a cul de
sac, and the neighbors (with houses up for sale) have been renovating inside
and out and haven't been successful."

In fact, Moses says negotiations over houses are now sometimes upside down.
"They're fighting," she said, "because they don't want the house."

-Don Wade

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Tips for Splits

Five tips for couples considering divorce in a down economy:

Consider using the services of an experienced mediator to resolve the details of the divorce amicably. Locally, attorney Misty Becker says deposits for mediation can range from $300 to $2,500, with hourly rates from $150 to $450.

Delay the sale of the family home or cut costs by living together until the divorce is completed.

Try to close or cancel all credit cards or home equity lines of credit; limit both parties' access to credit to avoid further debt.

Obtain a copy of your credit report. Establish your own line of credit and get a credit card in your name before the divorce is final.

If you do put your home up for sale, make sure you've at least spoken with a real estate broker and have a realistic view of the home's value.

Sources: Aaron Dishon, managing partner at Dishon & Block, family law specialist, and marketwatch.com